Dutch Men and Relationships

In love with a Dutch man but can’t understand his quirks? Not enough romance perhaps? Some strange habit that defies logic? Read on:

“Dutch Men” Article from Radio Netherlands, 20 April 2001

Dutch men have no sense of romance. They don’t buy their women expensive gifts but they do treat them as equals and they are faithful. For him diamonds are not a girl’s best friend – he is. These are a few general characteristics of Dutch men that pop up when you talk to foreign women about their relationships with the male Netherlander.

French journalist, Sophie Perrier, recently wrote a book about the men of The Netherlands, for which she interviewed 35 women and one gay man from Germany, Hungary, China, Columbia and the United States among others. All these people live in The Netherlands and all have had a relationship with a Dutch man. Are they really that different from their peers elsewhere, in Belgium or Germany, for example?

Women Are Human Too

Treating someone like a human being may not be what every woman wants but it does have its advantages. Dutch men, according to Sophie’s interviewees, can make very god lovers.

“They’re very happy not playing the dominant role in bed, unlike a lot of men in the world. The Dutch man likes to please his woman, he likes to take time for her, he really cares what she wants and not what he wants. On that point foreign women like a Dutch lover very much. They say he is compromising in bed, like they are in their daily life. Sometimes maybe it’s not as exciting as it was in their country, in some ways they miss the power-game, that was making the sex exciting.”

Those Little Differences

But perhaps behind – or more accurately, standing next to – each of these boring Dutch men is a Dutch woman. In the true spirit of compromise it could be that Dutch men are ‘not so exciting’ because that’s the way Dutch women like them. Sophie’s conclusions might just say more about foreign women than Dutch men.

“Of course, it says a lot about them. They are not as emancipated as Dutch women. They are more traditional, they expect more presents, they expect more romance, they expect to be treated in a special way only because they’re a woman. Maybe it’s not politically correct but I personally feel the difference between men and women bring a lot of charm in life. It brings a little interaction between men and women, a little bit of flirt, it’s just a little game between men and women.”

Objects of Desire

To be this boring and unromantic takes years of training. Sophie puts it down to a combination of religious history, a nation of liberated women and an unrivalled sense of individuality in Dutch men.

“Women don’t want to be treated as objects, that’s absolutely taboo. You have to take a woman as a human being, not as a woman. The second thing is Calvinism in The Netherlands. You don’t have to do crazy things, you don’t have to spend money if you don’t have it. You just have to be very faithful. And maybe the third thing is that they are not scared to do things that are not typical for a man. Dutch men don’t care that a typical man should give flowers, or that a typical man should be very ambitious at work. He doesn’t care about that he just does what he thinks is the best.”

Good Ratings

Marks out of ten then from Sophie, just how highly does she rate Dutch men? “I think it would be quite high, 8 or 9, because he’s very emancipated. He’s faithful, you can trust him, he’s nice, he listens to his woman, he treats her as his equal. These women like it very much, especially in the long term. In the beginning they think; ‘well he’s not romantic, he’s not exciting, he gives me such small presents’ but if you stay with a Dutch man for years then I think you will be very happy.”

Another humorous reading on Dutch Men:



July 2, 2004. Uncategorized.


  1. Anonymous replied:

    I am a Scottish women and am going to be married to a Dutch man next year since I met him I have realised that there is romance out there and he is shit hot in bed but on that note he always likes to satisfy me before he lets himself be satisfied he is also full of romance and buys me anything that my heart desires and that is including a 21 diamond ring ye ye ok I know he must be a one off eh but hey Im so glad I have him and noone else does

  2. nana replied:

    This is sooooooooo true about my dutch boyfriend! its incredible.
    as much as i want faithfulness…I want spice in my relationship including gifts. and i get very little gifts 😦

  3. Delores replied:

    I found this article to be both interesting and informative. Currently, I talking to a Dutch man I have been for about a week. I met him on a dating website. I am a fifty year old Africa American woman I have dated outside of my race with a Caucasian man. It was not serious but lasted three years. I have one problem I don’t understand when he is talking his English is not very good, what do you suggest I do?

  4. Dorien replied:

    I love this article. It is so true and it covers all the points. Who cares about the little gifts they are faithful that should be the best gift ever. I love Dutch men.

  5. BeeBee replied:

    Aw my Dutch man never gave me a single little gift.. nor even a Christmas card.. (we are together for 1 year) and that bothers me because a little gift would show love and appreciation.. yes I think he is faithful and he may love me but romance and passion is lacking so I’m not that sure about his feelings… 😦

  6. Kim replied:

    I have not even met mine in person..but I am getting gifts. He truly is in love with me. Wonderful guy. Glad when the day comes and I can hold him.

  7. putsie replied:

    my dutch guy was awesome at the beginning, after 3 year together the I found out that he sent email to other girl saying “i miss you online” and he hide another cellphone behind me and he still likes to chat and flirt on videocam 😣

  8. Kim replied:

    Mine was good for all of 1 month, bahh. He turned out to be a scammer. Went to China and needed money to get back…4000.00 is what he wanted.
    I didn’t give him money, then about a week later he sent an email. Im back, now leave me alone. I guess he got his money from someone else lol

  9. Joanne v. Balingan replied:

    Wow me so exciting i found my dutch man and we are more than two months in progress of our relationship..and i found some characteistics of him base of what ive read in this article.true but the others not yet observe..and wish he is faithfull and i never wish big presents coz i just need simple thing so i will understand him if he cannot do that to me.only fate and trust for him

  10. Joanne v. Balingan replied:

    And im in love with him.i think we are soulmate,after8 years weve met and have two both siblings and now weve met again and we are now..may be we like complicated things..

  11. Joanne v. Balingan replied:

    Im different in bed i found him he cant keep me up in sex..im always behind when it comes orgasms..but im excited he has surprise i dnt know what tricks for sex

  12. Nederlander replied:

    Romance for a dutch guy lays in subtility, a layer that pretty much only a dutch female notices. The same is for flirting, non dutchies might not even find the subtile stares. In bed this means either are allowed to innitiate, dutch guys like to feel wanted aswel.
    Where most females want gifts, dutchies want to be loved. And see getting gifts as a make up for an argument or misunderstanding.

    Dutch guys like to treat their females as equal, as emancipation does not stop at same rights, same jobs, same treatments. To only want the the ‘benificial’ side of amancipation is in both eyes selfish.
    Dutch females not always appreciate a door opened for them, as they have been born with the capability to do it themselves. Tell your significant other you enjoy when he does so, and he will probably be happy to do so furtheron.

    The dutch are rude, becouse they think being direct beats hiding the truth.
    The dutch are cheap, becouse they are a trading community for over a milenium but their good advice is usualy free as is their will to help others in need.
    The dutch are boring, but if you tell them what you want. You might just exactly get that.

  13. Sabina replied:

    I’m dating a dutch man LDR. I can say he is very committed, loyal, mannerly but of course straight to the point. He is very jealous of me maybe because Im 12 years his junior. I truly love him and care for him but he has insecurities of me leaving me.

    He asked me to marry him and of course I will.

  14. kaag replied:

    Dont trust a dutch mann….bearkaagman@yahoo.com

  15. Amzy replied:

    I loved this article! I am an Indian woman and have been dating a dutch man for almost a year. It does appear that the Dutch men are cheap but honestly, they value quality over quantity. They prefer doing things for their woman and spending time with them rather than buying stuff to prove their love.The cultural differences between my guy and me are enormous but we both are willing to compromise, something I find very difficult for most men to do. I would surely recommend giving your Dutchman a chance, if these qualities annoy you at first!

  16. anna replied:

    Hi! My boyfriend is Dutch.. I’m Italian.
    I moved in Holland 1 month ago… and I often don’t understand what is him and what is dutch.. expecially about friendship!
    He told me that in Hollan the man has his friends and the woman hers.. So he goes out with his friends and I remain alone in the house.. is it really so?
    In Italy a couple is a couple also outside.. friends usually become in common, people go out all toghether and just sometimes the man go out with his friends and the woman with hers..
    I can’t find anything about this on internet.. can I have some your opinion?

  17. merry replied:

    This article is really great! By the way I was dating a Dutch guy for 4 months. he was really attract me at the first day we met. Even though we had different culture background we are trying to understanding each other. I had a crushed on him but I don’t know does he has the same feeling or not. We never talk about love..sometimes it make me confuse. will he say he love me first or not..?

  18. DEE replied:

    Im african american lady who recently fallen in love with this wonderful dutchman I can’t say much but Im hoping I don’t wake up and realise im not dreaming, he’s been so wonderful sexually and all

    Im in love …period

  19. Milly replied:

    I agree with Nederlander’s reply (above). I think that the majority of us women around the world, have been raised or socialised to experience relationships like a game of chess “If he does this or buys me that, it means he loves me.” The many Dutch men that I know, including my boyfriend. Don’t play those games. They commit themselves to taking care of you by daily action, not by gesture or token gifts. They take time to get to know and try to understand you. They hope that you can let your guard down in order for them to achieve a real level of understanding with you. Which is also more challenging for those of us who are English (I’m half English, half French) or American. Our cultures are all about having our guards up and trying to be impressive, in order that the man will be attracted to us. And when he is, it’s not you he’s fallen for. But a figment based on an impression you have given. Dutch people in general see through this. And of course Dutch men see through this too. With a Dutch man, you have the opportunity to be authentic! If it is natural to you to love him wildly, then do so. He would prefer that you express the real you, than be guarded. If it’s natural for you to take your time, then do so too. They want you to be YOU. Even the wealthiest most polished Dutch man, prefers authenticity over affectation and materialism. It is no wonder then why they prefer women who look natural, no make up, no fuss. They need to see you. This is at the heart of Dutch culture and Dutch men. Authenticity. That’s not to say that you have to be vulgar either. Just be natural, conscious, considerate and not afraid to show the beautiful side of your nature. A side that in other cultures, as pointed out in above replies, that is considered boring and un-exciting. Which is tragic really. Because most of us want to be relaxed, loving and natural. Well you can with a Dutchie.

  20. Rena replied:

    Dutch men are Dutch men. They are not romantic, they are rude, blunt and sacarstic. They are stingy and selfish. Never praise their wives or girlfriends. Yes they value their friends over their life partners. This is their defence mechanism.


    I’m an Asian Indian. I met this bitter bitter man who was going through divorce ancilory matters for 11years with his Dutch wife. He lost everything… Properties, money and cars because of his mean ex wife. I met his autistic downsyndrome young child in an organisation where I was helping out during my free time after my marriage of 29 years failed. I met him when we had our center’s anniversary. Somehow we got together.

    In that one year one and a half year I knew him, he abused me verbally and on two occasions pshysically. All his friends will tell me that he us a wonderful man but I never saw that side of him. Why I stayed in the relationship because he offered me his guest room when I had nowhere to go when I lost everything during my divorce. I’m also conservative. When I could not take anymore, I walked out with a heavy heart.

    Why I love him?

    I’ve never seen the best father who works day and night just to pay for his children’s education and well being. Never seen a man who gave up everything just for his children. He could have been a Romeo but never cheated during our relationship. A very upright person and no nonsense attitude.

    What’s next?

    He looked for me everywhere and located me 3 days later. It did not help that I’m very well sort after in my profession so he knew where to look for me. When I finally agreed to talk and have an amicable break, I saw the real man he was.

    Shocking shocks….

    Never will say sorry but many sorries. Never bought me anything but celebrated my 50th birthday in his friend’s high end restaurant. Never hold hands in public but these days carry my heavy back packs.

    It’s going to be two years soon….. He lost everything but he says I’m the love of his life next to his children. This is what I love about him. His children are part of him.

    BE PATIENT LOVERS OR GIRLFRIENDS of a Dutch man, I agree with some of the ladies, gifts and presents are not important. Look into the hidden romance and love they show. Dutch men are faithful to their wives, girlfriends and are also filial to their parents and family. The best providers for their children. Your understanding of a typical Dutch men will help you.

    I will still say, walk out of any relationship if you have no faith. Hope and faith help you see positive things in relationship.

    I wish all ladies dating a Dutch man a wonderful life.

  21. Veronica replied:

    Thank you for all emails, it was a pleasure to read them. My story is a bit simillar a bit different.
    I live in Czech Rep. and I ‘knew’ my Dutch by online, it was not a dating website. He sent me the message first. He saw my photos and he was a bit too excited I think. But were writing emails every day. Once he suddenly stopped for few months, did not know what s happened but i was busy and focused on my work so I did not cry for long time 😉
    after few months he sent me the message that he did not see my last email and he thought I am busy of my work that s why he did not write to not bother me. I thought it is redicoulous and he is not saying truth, but i replied him sometimes to time. After few month he asked me to meet, after few months I decided to meet. But he was busy and his father was sick. I thought again he made a fool of me.
    Then we met once for short time,I think i was in love with him ..he is gorgeous… after I came the Netherlands i met him twice of 5 days cause his father was sick again and he was busy. BTW he did not want to give me his number phone neither his address. OK, after first meeting he gave me his number phone cause he said he wants me to have it. But still no address. You know when you meet a guy online, even if you are chatting everyday for one year you would like to know his address in any case…
    It will not help much but at least I would feel safe. We spent two gorgeous days, was absolutely amazing. As you said in bed simply fantastic.
    When I asked him why he doesn t want to tell me where does he lives he said that he likes teas me …well it is not really funny if it is important for me.
    I even thought he has a gf and he just playing with me , but he said he doesn t have …not sure if I should believe or not… 😦

    Anyway he said he will visit me in Norway …he did not cause he was too busy at work. Now I am going for the conference and he asked me to take weekend off to spend time together but he did not invite me to his place…
    When i asked him if there is any chance he wants to meet me and have future not to marry but to know each other better, he askwered that he doesn t know his feelings, what’s he wants and what he should do in this stage.But he likes me a lot and he doesn t want to dismissing my feelings.

    I can t say I am happy and I was super sad, I wante dto break up friendship and never speak with him but he is much better than any guy I was meeting so really do not know what to do… 😦
    He melted my heart to brought me hos favourite candies, he cares to be punctual cause I am …I see he cares of me. Everything is so strange to me. But I am in love with him…do you think is normal?

  22. rim replied:

    I am head over heels in love with a Dutchman. but I can never have him. he is married. he of course has no clue about my feelings and I want to keep it that way. he is my colleague and it’s bloody painful.

  23. Emine Topcu replied:

    Dear Editor, I don’t agree with your opinion. I had a Dutch boyfiend couple months ago. He suddenly left me!!!

  24. Ariah replied:

    At this moment I am here in Netherlands living with my dutch boyfriend,I am truly in love with him that is the only reason I am here in your worst weather, I am Asian from Philippines,I admit it is very hard for me to understand him but I sacrifice a lot coz I know we are in our adjustment period and we came from different cultures,I am very sensitive as it is one of Filipina women characteristic I can easily cry but he doesn’t care,he even doesn’t know how to comfort a woman.He told me he did everything to make happy but I told him i don’t need and I don’t even ask materials things just a hug is enough to comfort me but I think he has always his pride with him.I just hope I won’t get tired in swallowing my ego which I never ever did before but i did it for him, I am always feeling hurt but I chose this life so I should’t complain and pay for it.In fairness with him,he is gentle,generous and I know he love me too but maybe…love just ain’t enough.Now it’s always bother me how long our love stand and tinking it will come to an end saddens me so much.

  25. ssecnirp replied:

    I am 27 yrs old and my dutch guy is 20..yes it maybe sounds inappropriate for my age to havea bf whos way too young than i do but all i know is we love eachother so much..well i dont see him yet personally coz were half away apart of the globe..But despite from that big defferences between the two of us he do still understand me and his always there for me..yes maybe some in your article was true like he really doesnt give me anything even a single piece of flower or a cheap sweet postcard to send it on mail..well i really dont care bout that much, tho im still hoping coz we girls love presents..But unfortunately i guess its dutch thing that they dont really wanna spend thier money onna gift which i have to understand aswell..i actually dont demand anything from him ecxept for onething and that is for him to visit me here in my place..which i know its pretty quite expensive to travel and so i wonder if hell gonna make it just to see me..if really dutch guy dont spend a hundred bucks for just a piece of flower how much more for a ticket to travel?…hmm thats why doubts and worries are building up in my thoughts and scares me that if he doesnt give a sh*t to see me..i know his not rich and still young to make up his mind and might find other girl whos at his age and close to him..But he is just too sweet to me and he told me he loves me every single day and i feel that he mean it..i really love my dutch guy he thinks better than an older guy do..he shows respect and patient to me..he doesnt get mad at me and say bad things agains me when we fight.. hope we can make it further than i thought we could.. ☺😍

  26. Kristine replied:

    I’m an Asian girl who now has a Dutch boyfriend. I was browsing through the internet to find out what a Dutch man is when it comes to a relationship and I think this article is very reliable, especially by the comments here of my fellow girls who also is in a relationship with a foreigner. I just do hope that my boyfriend will come here this year, no exact date yet but month he’s sure that he’ll be here by October after he got his diploma. Honestly, sometimes I tend to think negatively with regards to our blossoming relationship. Sometimes I ask myself, does he really love me? or does he have another girlfriend aside from me? But then one time, after he talked to my mom via Skype, he told me that it’s now time for him to change his relationship status on Facebook, from single to In a relationship. He tagged me of course and hell yeah, both our friends there have seen it. I think somehow by what he did is a sign that he is really in love with me, and so do I. I just hope that he’s really the one for me and I won’t see myself with another guy if it’s not him. Ik you van je my love! 🙂

  27. kristineromen replied:

    Reblogged this on Tinromen's Blog.

  28. Cherry replied:

    I met a dutchman almost 2 years ago at dating site.. We talked for a couple of months and that time he was to visit philippines to join his dad with a filipina gf. I was not that interested in him that time since i have like american man online too.. But then he came and i decided to meet him.. So when we met suddenly its magic, but still i was careful because that was my first time meeting a foreign man, im an asian a filipina.. He stayed for two weeks and we just had some times together.. When he got back to holland we continue chatting and planning for a better.. That was 2013 we first met… He came back again 2014 and he stayed for about 2 months. I decided to stay wih him on his rented condo for the whole month of december, things were great, but also i was busy for i was study culinary and have a little business.. But still we spent times together, from, eating at restos, parties, small trips, and even we had a trip goin to bangkok for new years celebration.. Its was all priceless.. When we came back to philippines, a day after, he said he wants a space and wants to have his time alone, it was a surprise to me because i thought he wants to spend time with me.. I was hurt really.. But then i let him be.. So january i wrote him an email that i dont know whats goin on and i explained my side , and he understand what i mean. So we still spend times again together having small trips and some lunch or dinner but i am living with my house not with him anylonger.. I was really confused because he still never asked me to be his gf or what.. When we talked about it he said he was taking it slow because hes a divorced and doesnt like to make same mistake again. Days before he left, we spent more time together, we even had a romantic dinner at five star hotel, we hold hands, we hug and kiss and talk about the future ahead of us.. And hes planning again for his next visit and he wants me to visit him at holland. He always say i love you, i like you blah blah,, he even gave me gifts and hes a bit generous too, paying bills.. He said to me that in holland they call friend only when they like someone and a gf if they are living together.. Hes telling me that next time he comes back he wants us to live together… So can somebody tell me, whats goin on in holland men.. Is it true?? Because in my country in philippines, a man should pursue a woman and if he loves her and wants her to be his gf, he should ask her, then that the start of relationship when she say yes.. So now i am puzzled, i dont know if i will stay faithful or shall i entertain other man.. I like my dutchman and i know he likes me too, but i cannot assume and thats can make me sick.. Please can somebody help me enlighten on this?? Thank you

  29. MK replied:

    True this. One time my Dutchie was messing around and told me, ‘Oh! I have a friend request,’ and then showed me the picture of his co-worker. He knows that I am a jealous person, but what happened afterwards was funny. I told him he can add her and he just blurted, ‘Naah, don’t worry. She’s not pretty.’ Obviously, the girl is pretty but she has put on too much make up which I think made him as straightforward and blunt as he is. Lol.

    Another point is the ‘Go Dutch’ thing doesn’t exist for me. My Dutchie is soooooo generous when it comes to my needs, even offering me to buy my swimsuit at his expense. I just noticed that he is just very practical and frugal (if you want that term) in general. As what he once told me, he would rather buy 3-4 pairs of sunnies than a pair of Ray Ban. So yes, I love this Dutchie, money can be earned but finding a man like him might take forever. 🙂

  30. ceegee replied:

    im an asian a filipina, i met a dutchman on dating site 2013 and he visited me that year. then he came back last year and spent 2 months with me.. he gave me gifts and paid almost everything.. i did share also like in food or petrol in car since i have car.. but yeah hes very practical and always compute the expenses we made. hea nice and loving but direct and straight forward… i was confused because he said in holland the couple must live together so they can call a bf and gf relationship, and if not they are just friends.. he said he likes me and he plans our future and he wants us to be together. hes coming back soon.. can you please enlighten me on this?? thanks for all the responses.

  31. putulie replied:

    Ariah, how long have you stay in NL ? Have your bf start doing the paper work for your legal status to live legally in NL ?

  32. Aurora replied:

    It’s all great with the high value of independence and emancipation. Th only question though, especially for us women who is raised and use to a more “traditional” roles of man and woman, is how to see if the Dutch man we adore is interested in us or not?
    And, is it really totally normal if we make the move first, say for example, to kiss them?

  33. Patricia replied:

    My daughter married a Dutch man five years ago. It has been a rough ride since day one. She has a very good job, and is the mother to our sweet grandson. Our daughter’s husband treats the marriage like a business partnership accounting for every plug euro spent within the household. Making sure she shares the expenses down to the last penny. He vacations with male friends three to four times a year and goes out for drinks with this set of friends a few times a week, yet never treats my daughter to dinner out or vacations away unless she pays half. Small tokens of appreciation like flowers, candy or a nice bottle of wine are few and far between. He has been totally rude and overbearing to both my husband and I, and any of her friends or family that visits their home. He insists it is the Dutch way to be direct and blunt if he doesn’t like the conversation or questions asked. My advice as a woman who has been happily married and appreciated by my husband for 40 years is to run to the nearest exit if you are ever approached by a cute Dutch guy…the reality is, they make cheap boyfriends and if they decide to marry you…even lousier husbands and fathers. His circle of friends act the same way…totally lacking compassion and class…

  34. Luna replied:

    I (a South East ASEAN)met a Dutch man few months ago on dating website. Both of us have same education qualification and we are in age gap of 8 years as I looking forward for a man that is elder than me. Besides religion, we have similar family background and hobbies. Since he is the real first man that I real date, I somehow have no clues about the following which might be good that I want to know about the culture difference :

    (1) Do Dutch man actually confessed his feelings to the girl just as in French kisses? Does it indicate for which relationship status they are hook between each other? (p/s: as far as I know in SEA, French kisses only comes if you have date someone for some time!)

    (2) I was bit fussy that I’m suggesting what to do whenever he proposed for a date! This is really contradicted with their well organize planner traits like at workplace!

    (3)We live at 2different cities, but, we only met 1-2 time(s) per week, I tried to hints him that we should meet more often,but, he seems like don’t understand me. Shall I tell him directly?

    (4) we have intimate physical interactions whenever we met except intercourse as I think is too soon for our relationship as for now, but, he always told me that making love is indicating his status in my heart and I did not consume any contraceptive medicine due to adverse health effects of this pill. He asked me if I willing to consume contraception pills and how long do I need to be open for ‘that’ with him. I rejected and refused him directly by telling him what I think….

    (P/S: I’m projecting this question as far as I concern the interpretation/perception of making love or intercourse are different between a man and a woman. On one hand, my Dutch friends ( the girls) always told me or speak proudly that they have sex with the guy even though they met each other on 1st or 2nd date. )

    I really look forward to hear advises from you all.


  35. beforemybigbreak replied:

    I dated a dutch guy once in college and he seemed pretty cheap to me. He Would hardly buy me presents, but when he did, they were meaningful. He was pretty loyal and he did almost treat me as his equal. But I’m a latina, so for my culture it can feel confusing if he cares or not.

  36. Another Dutch guy replied:

    If it is for a serious relationship you should judge a Dutch guy a lot like you would an Asian guy (and sometimes like a woman). Oke, some generalizations…

    0) If he did not introduce you to his family and friends he is not likely to be serious. Simple golden rule. Dutch, like Asians, are family orientated. A good Dutch family will not accept their son telling lies to a girl. Lying is maybe the only way Dutch feel they can loose face (and their soul).

    1) A Dutch guy expresses his true feelings in words. These words might not seem over romantic but they are true and will be the base for your future together.

    2) A woman is also responsible for the date going well. You two are equal. It takes two to tango. Sometimes this means the guy will behave like a spoiled girl and somehow that can mean planner traits. Why?!? Just because. 🙂

    3) Dutch do not use hints to communicate. Why waste time? Speak your mind. Always. If you do not, the Dutch will seem horrible. We are not mind readers because that would be impolite.

    4) The Dutch are boring: trust and understanding are the basis for a long term relationship. Sex and serious relationship have no 1:1 correlation. If you do not trust him for 100% why give him something so important to you? For him it is not. Introducing you to his friends and family is (bis).

  37. K. Diaz replied:

    Back in 2015 I met this gorgeous Dutch online, chatting with him on a daily basis. As Asian, it was that easy for me to express my desire and attraction. However, he made it clear that he was looking for friendship and wish to maintain a platonic relationship. I accepted the clarifications and was heartbroken. There was nothing wrong with him being blunt, honesty is better than giving me false hope.

    Having him for more than a year now, monotonous emojis and messages, I realized that if he was not that interested he won’t keep the relationship this far. And for the fact that I recently lost my job, he cheers me up everyday. He listens and advise me, I find him positive and motivating.

    Last September, when I asked him his reason of chatting with me everyday. He expressed that he liked our friendship, that he had known me for a year and that he has “something for me” (buzzword). He added further that I was not only his internet woman, “I mean more than anything” (gosh! I was so thrilled, what could it be) getting to know of my culture, my attitude, my good and wild side, being transparent has made him overwrite his previous impression of me.

    I don’t want to get too excited by how things are turning favourably. I am wise and I still want to know him well. Having read all the comments above, has motivated me to learn further the Dutch culture. I would be able to adjust with him and hopefully win his heart? One day. 🙂

    And by the way, he acknowledged to me today that we are daydreamers and that his imagination and desire are building up because of me. I do dream to be his wife, partner and friend. Someday. xoxo

  38. Rory Sebapala replied:

    my Dutch boyfriend is such an amazing person,very caring,buys me gifts & very faithful bt shy in public.I love him soooo much that i would love to spend my entire life with him

  39. sweetdutch replied:

    I’m a Asian and ma bf is Dutch. We have been each other for 2 years.
    I agree with this posting, it is true, definitely it is standard type of Dutch guy. Thanks for this letters 😉

    But hey guys, seriously? I really surprised about some replies.
    Just I wanna say that if you have any doubting with him? or if you want know to what exactly situation with him? Please just ask him.
    Eventually love is person to person. Not about a standards type. This posting can gives you way to understand Dutch guy easily. You can get some advices from this guide letters but it is not a him.
    I know, we are have different each cultural, dating, relationship in our own countries.

    In mostly Asia, when love relationship beggining, then need to say it is begin of love. However in Netherlands, one day you can get knows love begin to you very smoothly. But, something really vital thing for begin of relationship is they knows what happened between themselves.
    When you are falling in love, would you want to make him confused?
    You will say ‘No’. So what else? He as same as you.
    If he avoid answer or say ‘I don’t know or I need time to think about it.’, then you must say to get out of my life.

    I can tell you. My bf and me had to accept cultural, language barrier and understand what is differences with girl and boy. Dutch people can speaks very well English but not that meant mother language. So, it is very hard to work out talk about tiny sensitive feelings.
    And all these issues’ answer is conversations.
    Which mean is good quality talks and should to be clear. (Don’t be whining as complaining)
    My bf and me are keep trying this when we got some fight.

    Relationship is must makes together not the only one.
    Nobody wanna try to make confused his women.
    You deserves live as you are. You deserves valuable love.
    Don’t wasted beautiful moments of your life.

  40. MEL replied:

    I was curious about dutch guys so I try to read online about there characteristics. As I’m dating a Dutch guy here in Philippines .Truly yes they are not that romantic but they have some good qualities too. When we date we split the bill but sometimes I pay for it just to let him know that I have money too and it’s not his money that I like. But sometimes his telling me I’m a high maintenance woman though he never spent money for me ha ha ha. I’m a self made woman, very independent and hardworking. So money is not an issue to us. My first date with him face to face was wonderful. I melted with his kisses and we behaved like pubers ha ha ha. For a 46 yrs old woman and 44 y.o dutch guy. I chatted with him for 5 hours from 10PM TO 3AM. That was our first meeting online and mind you we are busy with our careers but it’s like magic.

    Kinda like him and I like his frankness . I think irregardless of nationality as long as two people love each other then nothing is impossible. Just enjoy each other and cherish everything that you have no pressures . I don’t know what’s in store for both of us but I just pray that his the one that I could grow old with.

  41. Anonymous replied:

    Recently I have been in a relationship with a Dutch man and wanted to know more on just a few things they are like and do.

    I can see now that this is exactly how I want to be treated, we talk to each other when we want to, we take our time, and it honestly just feels like he is my best friend! I have had past relationships where I have been cheated on and lied to, this one just keeps me in reality. I can be myself slowly, and gradually open up to him, he is my rock and I am his ‘short arm rest’ as he calls me
    (He is 6’4 and I am 5’4 ish.. I am American)
    I make the corny jokes, and tease him on small things, and hes always there to help keep me balanced into reality as well as be the person I can fully put my trust in. Even better part though, is the fact that when we met it was online. We had no pictures shown of ourselves, it wasn’t until recently I found out what he looks like and to him what I look like, and honestly it still feels like the same sparks!

    LDR’s are tough but yet the way he is makes this worth everything! Honestly, this is the best relationships out there! I don’t need Rose’s, a fancy night out, or a diamond ring. I just need him and I’m happy!

    Yes, every girl or parents says “Get a man that treats you like a queen!” Sorry, but mine treats me like a best friend, and that is more than enough!

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